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Modern dating is filled with uncertainty, manipulation, and unspoken rules. As Steve Harvey explains in Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, men always have a plan—whether it’s a commitment or casual fun. But how do you spot the difference early?. Steve Harvey’s Three Ps of love in the book refer to how a man shows his love and commitment to a woman. These are:
Protect – A man in love will go to great lengths to keep his woman safe. This means standing up for her, shielding her from harm, and making sure she feels secure in their relationship
Profess – A man who truly loves you will make it known to the world. He will introduce you as his woman, claim you publicly, and show that he is proud to have you in his life.
Provide – A real man takes responsibility for his woman’s well-being. This includes financial provision, but it also extends to emotional and physical security, ensuring that she has what she needs.
Philosopher Simone de Beauvoir, in The Second Sex, highlights how society conditions women to accept less than they deserve, making them blind to red flags. Meanwhile, Robert Greene, in The Laws of Human Nature, explains how people manipulate and deceive in relationships. By combining these insights, you’ll learn to spot red flags before they waste your time and energy.
Here is the first dating red flag every high-value woman should recognize.
🚩 1. He Doesn’t Have a Plan for His Life → 🦥 The Sloth
The Red Flag You Can’t Ignore
Definition
A man who has no goals, no financial stability, and no ambition to improve his life is not equipped for a serious relationship. A relationship needs growth, leadership, and shared vision, but a man without a plan is like a ship without a compass—going nowhere fast.
How It Relates: A man with no ambition, no goals, and no drive is like a sloth—hanging around, doing nothing, and expecting you to carry the load. Avoid the sloth, date a lion (driven, focused, and goal-oriented). A man’s vision and ambition determine the kind of future he can build—not just for himself, but for his partner as well. If he lacks direction, avoids responsibility, or drifts aimlessly, it’s a major red flag. A high-value woman needs a high-value partner, and a man without a plan will only hold her back.
Why? Sloths are slow, unmotivated, and do the bare minimum to survive.
Indicators
- He has no career goals and lacks a plan for his future.
- He frequently quits jobs or can’t hold down steady employment.
- He lives day to day with no financial strategy.
- He blames circumstances or others instead of taking accountability.
- He expects you to motivate or financially support him.
Impact
- You will end up carrying the relationship emotionally and financially.
- He will lack leadership, leaving you with uncertainty and frustration.
- His irresponsibility could create financial burdens for you.
- Over time, you will feel drained, resentful, and held back from your own success.
Red Flag Frequency: Once. If he lacks both ambition and effort, that’s all you need to see—walk away immediately.
Statistics & Research
- 40% of failed relationships cite financial instability as a major reason for the breakup.
- Women in financially stable relationships report higher satisfaction and long-term happiness.
- Men with clear career and financial plans are more likely to commit and invest in relationships.
Expert Advice
Steve Harvey: “A man must first establish who he is, what he does, and how much he makes before he can truly focus on a woman.” A man who has not figured out his purpose in life is not ready to lead a relationship. If he’s still trying to “find himself,” he will only cause confusion and instability in your life.
Simone de Beauvoir: “A man who cannot lead himself will ultimately be led by others, leaving no room for true partnership.” A strong relationship requires mutual growth and ambition. If he is stagnant, unfocused, or dependent, he cannot be a real partner.
Robert Greene: “Avoid entanglements with those who lack purpose—your energy is wasted trying to inspire them.” A man without a plan will consume your energy and drain your resources while giving nothing in return. Your time is better spent with someone who brings value and vision into your life.
Bible Verse : Proverbs 29:18 – “Where there is no vision, the people perish.”
Dating Solution
Date a man with purpose. Observe if he has a clear vision for his life and actively works toward his goals. If he lacks motivation and expects you to build him up constantly, he is not your responsibility. Walk away and choose a man who leads with confidence, ambition, and direction.
The High-Value Woman’s Dating Red Flag Checklist
How to Use the Checklist
Rate each red flag based on the number of times it happens.
Add up the total score.
The higher the score, the more urgent it is to reconsider the relationship.
Scoring System
0 points – No sign of this red flag.
1-3 points – Minor concern, keep an eye on it.
4-6 points – Moderate concern, discuss it with him.
7+ points – MAJOR red flag, time to walk away.
1. He Doesn’t Have a Plan for His Life (Weight: 10 Points)
⬜ He has no career or financial plan. (+5)
⬜ He frequently changes jobs or lacks stability. (+3)
⬜ He relies on you (or others) for financial support. (+2)
🔹 Total Points for This Section: _____/10
Up Next Red Flag: 🚩 2. He’s Inconsistent in Communication → 🦊 The Fox
Why? Foxes are sly and unpredictable, disappearing and reappearing when convenient.
How It Relates: A man who texts you randomly, goes silent for days, then acts like nothing happened is just like a fox—you never know when he’ll show up or vanish.
Avoid the Fox date a ……find out in our next article!!!
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James Daniel
